Susan Stiffelman’s Parenting with Presence is a book that examines how our past experiences and wounds shape our parenting styles. She advocates for parent-child relationships in which parents understand and nurture what their children possess at their best.
Resilience in children stems from their ability to manage their emotions even during difficult times. By being present with your kids, you can help them develop this skill more efficiently.
1. Practice Self-Compassion
Self-compassion, or treating oneself with kindness and respect, is one of the most essential skills to develop when raising emotionally resilient children. It helps them cope with struggles and setbacks in a healthy manner and encourages them to view their problems as learning opportunities.
Adults can use compassion as a tool to help their kids develop into emotionally resilient individuals. Studies have demonstrated that teaching parents compassion towards themselves and their kids helps reduce stress levels and promote mental wellbeing.
One way to practice self-compassion is by taking breaks from time to time. Whether it’s just a few minutes away from a stressful task or some silence to just be still, practicing self-compassion can free you from feeling overwhelmed and stressed.
Recent research conducted by psychologists at the University of Michigan revealed that people who practice self-compassion experience fewer negative emotions and feel more positive about life overall. Furthermore, these individuals tend to have healthier relationships as well as an overall sense of wellbeing.
Self-compassion can be an invaluable tool for adults as they navigate the stresses of modern life and learn to accept challenges with grace. Unlike many of us, those who practice self-compassion understand that not everything we plan for is within our control and some things just won’t go as planned.
For instance, if your child was recently disappointed that they did not get into their top school choices, practicing self-compassion can help them take a deep breath and work through their feelings. Instead of harshly criticizing themselves, encourage them to consider how others may have felt when not getting into their desired schools.
Another self-compassion practice is writing yourself a letter when you’re feeling stressed or frustrated about something. Studies have demonstrated that writing letters can reduce depression and enhance happiness levels.
As a teacher, you can use this strategy to encourage your students to write letters of compassion to themselves and others. This technique may be especially beneficial for those students who struggle with rumination or worrying about their problems.
2. Practice Self-Regulation
Self-regulation is the ability to control your emotions and behavior. This includes resisting highly emotional reactions to upsetting stimuli, calming yourself down when upset, adapting expectations when they change, and handling frustration without outbursts of anger or frustration.
Self-regulation is an invaluable skill that kids and adults can practice to respond in a way that supports their goals and boosts feelings of well-being. This ability can be taught, but it also develops over time through repetition and experience.
Children develop self-regulation skills through their interactions with caregivers and peers. When parents and caregivers demonstrate responsiveness, warmth, and acceptance of their children’s emotions, they provide an example for these life skills to emulate.
Parents must recognize when their children are struggling with self-regulation and help them develop appropriate skill sets. To do this, parents should match expectations to their age and stage of development, communicate clearly and calmly, implement logical consequences, and provide them with knowledge about effective coping strategies.
When your child is having a meltdown, it’s essential to give them space to process their feelings first. Then you can work together with them on deciphering what they are thinking and feeling so they can make sense of the situation.
Younger children tend to have more difficulty with regulation than older ones, so you might need to do extra work with them in this area. Teaching your child how to set a goal and meet it before an event or situation begins can help focus on an objective while giving them strategies for controlling their impulses.
It can mean having children wait to open gifts, share a favorite toy, or be quiet while stories are read aloud at the library. These teachable moments provide children with chances to learn how to control their impulses in order to reach larger objectives like learning or socializing with others.
Children need time to develop self-regulation, so it’s essential that they begin small and progress toward bigger objectives as they grow older and acquire these essential abilities.
3. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness can help you focus your attention on the present moment and manage emotions such as stress and anxiety.
Studies have consistently demonstrated the beneficial effects of mindfulness on mental health and well-being. For instance, it can reduce stress and depression, improve sleep patterns, and hone conflict resolution skills.
Mindfulness is a skill that can be acquired and practiced by anyone, regardless of age or background. It has many applications such as meditation, yoga, and certain kinds of therapy.
It is essential to practice mindfulness with patience and compassion for your mind as you strive to become more present and aware in the present moment. Your mind tends to wander from thought to thought, so guiding it back into awareness of the present moment should be the ultimate aim of any mindfulness practice.
The best way to practice mindfulness is by creating a consistent schedule that works for you and your family. Choose an activity that you do regularly, such as cooking or washing dishes, and focus on noticing sensations in the present moment.
Once you’ve established a habit, you can add more mindfulness exercises to your daily schedule. For instance, taking time out of work to meditate might be beneficial.
On some days, you may need more time for practicing than others, so find a time and place that works best for you. This could be during lunch break or during your evening routine when putting the kids to bed.
You can practice brief meditations while at work, in the car, or while out walking to the grocery store. These brief moments of mindfulness can serve as a helpful reminder to bring your focus back into the present moment as you go about your daily tasks.
Additionally, mindfulness can be beneficial for parents struggling with various issues like anxiety or depression. Unfortunately, it’s not a panacea and you should seek professional assistance for any mental health concerns you may have.
4. Practice Emotional Awareness
Emotional awareness can be an invaluable asset in raising emotionally resilient children. It teaches kids how to regulate their feelings, communicate effectively and build lasting connections.
Additionally, it helps them manage situations which might otherwise cause stress or anxiety. Parenting is an essential skill for teaching their children how to manage life’s difficulties successfully.
Emotional awareness involves paying attention to your own feelings and how they influence your decisions. It’s similar to training your body to flex muscle; however, this requires dedication and time.
To develop greater emotional intelligence, try to pay attention to how you are feeling and what that means in each moment. Do this by taking a pause before speaking, observing your thoughts, or taking deep breaths when feeling overwhelmed.
Once you become aware of your emotions, try to label them and explain what they signify. Doing this will enable you to better identify what drives each emotion and why it feels strong or weak.
By doing this, you will gain a better insight into yourself, other people and the world around you – which is often essential when making life-altering decisions. You’ll be able to recognize how you are feeling and make choices that promote positivity or reduce negativity in your surroundings.
By understanding others’ emotions and how their actions impact them, you will gain a better insight into why certain decisions are made and how those impacts them. Communication is key when building and maintaining healthy relationships – often the foundations for long-lasting professional success.
Emotional awareness is a skill that can be acquired and refined over time, yet it’s never too late to start. It has many applications in daily life – from being more in control of emotions to managing stressful situations – as well as increasing confidence and self-worth. It is an invaluable asset that should never be neglected!
